Are you your own harshest critic?

Most of us have an inner voice that comments on what we do. Sometimes it encourages us to improve or learn from our mistakes. But when that voice becomes overly critical, it can leave us feeling as though nothing we do is ever good enough.

You may find yourself dwelling on small mistakes long after everyone else has forgotten them, setting impossibly high standards for yourself or feeling disappointed even when you've done well. Compliments can be difficult to accept because they don't match the way you see yourself, while even minor setbacks can feel like proof that you've failed. No matter how hard you try, the goalposts seem to keep moving.

Living with a harsh inner critic can be exhausting. It often chips away at confidence, fuels anxiety and perfectionism, and makes it difficult to recognise your own strengths. Instead of celebrating your achievements, you focus on what you could have done better. Instead of speaking to yourself with understanding, you judge yourself in ways you would never judge someone you care about.

Many people who struggle with self-criticism are kind, conscientious and deeply caring individuals. They often hold themselves to standards they would never expect of anyone else. While they may appear confident from the outside, inside they are constantly questioning whether they are good enough.

The good news is that self-criticism is not something you have to live with forever. The way we speak to ourselves is learned over time, often through our life experiences, and it can be changed. Therapy is not about lowering your standards or pretending that mistakes don't matter. It is about developing a healthier, more balanced relationship with yourself—one that allows you to grow, learn and strive for your goals without constantly putting yourself down.

Together, we can explore where your inner critic came from, understand what keeps it so powerful and help you develop a kinder, more compassionate inner voice. As self-criticism begins to soften, many people notice that they actually become more confident, more resilient and better able to cope with life's inevitable challenges.

If self-criticism is affecting your confidence, relationships or overall wellbeing, therapy can help. At One Psychology, Dr Bea Michalska, HCPC-registered Clinical Psychologist, provides compassionate, evidence-based online therapy for adults across the UK. Together, we can help you build a healthier relationship with yourself and experience what it feels like to be on your own side.